There’s a town not too far from us that we’ve been to, since before we moved here. We actually spent our 5th Anniversary there at a Bed and Breakfast with Dans dad in the next room over. Hows that for romance? Surely not more romantic than the time we spent Valentine’s day 2015 in the dark, surrounded by candles, with my parents, because our power was knocked out due to an ice storm.
Our 5th anniversary was an overwhelming one for me. Not only were we planning on moving 400 miles away to a town we didn’t know a single soul and from friends and family and the only place I had ever lived. But we had just miscarried our 3rd pregnancy that we had gone through IVF to have, just 3 months before.
There’s a coffee shop in this town, where we used to go before we had Nathan, when Nathan was, what seemed like an impossible dream. Then when the impossible happened, one hot July day we went out to the coffee shop to get ice cream. We sat in the corner on the comfy couch watching House Hunters as this cute college couple came over to find a seat. Probably looking to get frisky on the comfy couch until they saw me slouched in it, shoving a spoonful of delicious ice cream in my mouth, while balancing the cup on my bump with two different color flip flops because I couldn’t see my feet anymore. They just looked at me like, “You guys keep the couch, these uncomfortable metal bar stools are fine, thanks.”
And I was just like, “good, cause I’m not getting up until I find out if they choose the fixer upper, the one with the wood floors they like(but are actually laminate), or the one that had everythinnggg they wanted but DARN IT, that paint color on the walls might be a deal breaker.”
Naturally, they chose the fixer upper.
We were at the coffee shop again just a few weeks ago and I was wrangling a bouncy baby on my lap while trying to eat some lunch when I mentioned to Dan our 7th anniversary was coming up.
“Wow, yeah seven. That’s a lot, GC.”
“You know seven is the number of completeness.”
I looked at Dan, then at Nathan, then back at Dan.
“I get what you’re saying.”
“I think there’s something there.”
“I think so, too”
Yesterday I shared some of the thoughts I had written down on our 5th wedding anniversary. Which I think makes more sense now to everyone, knowing some of the struggles we have gone through. A number of months ago, my sister in law had shared an article about the most overlooked characteristic when choosing a spouse. It was about choosing someone who suffers well. I can tell you Dan suffers well. Although I wasn’t specifically looking for this quality when I got married at 21(because hi, I was a basically a child bride) I am so beyond thankful it exists in him. Over the past seven years I can tell you he has found hope in even the most hopeless times.
I pray we don’t lose another pregnancy. I pray we don’t ever hear the words, “cancer,’ from a Dr. I pray we we don’t ever have to bury a child. But should we be asked to walk in the sorrows that some of our friends have been asked to walk, I know he will be there, to find the hope when I can’t see it. As the article i mentioned above says that when you have someone who suffers well, then,
“every grief is wedded to hope
every sorrow is matched with love
and every hurt is paired with healing.”